I thought that I might become creative and do a fake anime quotes page. Anime quotes that they would never say. Most of these are mine that I created myself and some
were stuff I found from friends and/or the net. Enjoy.
Fake anime quotes
Things you would never hear an anime character say
DBZ: Goku: Hey, Krillin, want me to polish your head?
DBZ: Majin Buu: I love you, you love meÖeverybody join inÖweíre a happy familyÖ
DBZ: Recoome: Nice fight, my former worst enemy, now why donít we kiss and make up?
DBZ: Frieza: No, really. Goku is the strongest fighter in the universe.
DBZ: Vegeta: I love you Goku.
DBZ: Goku (after turning SSJ for the first time): Oh my God! Iíve gone blonde!
DBZ: Vegeta: I love everyone!
DBZ: Captain Ginyu: Good work, men. Each of you gets a raise.
DBZ: Piccolo: Oh my God! I broke a nail!
DBZ: Vegeta: Iím having a bad hair day.
DBZ: SSJ Goku: Wow! My head isnít the only part that goes gold!
DBZ: Vegeta: Iíll give you 10 seconds to run for your life. 10Ö9Ö7Ö6Ö What comes after 8?
Goku: ErrÖ 4?
Vegeta: Oh yeah! 4Ö6Ö
DBZ: Oolong: Iíll have the pork chops!
DBZ: Vegeta: Fighting is useless. You should never fight, itís bad for your health.
DBZ: Vegeta: Youíre right Freiza, you are stronger than me. Iíll just go home and watch tv.
DBZ: Master Roshi: No girls, not today.
DBZ: Bulma: Come on Trunks time to visit Vegeta in the mental hospital.
DBZ: Gohan: Dad, I have this bowl of rice. Do you want it?
Goku: No thank you, son. Iím not hungry.
DBZ: Goku: Iím giving up on this world and just let it get destroyed!
DBZ: Vegeta: Iíll admit it, I donít deserve to be called the Prince of all Saiyans.
DBZ: Princess Snake: Somebody tie me up in a knot again.
DBZ: Bulma (on the phone): What do you mean Vegeta has rabies?
DBZ: Piccolo: Cowardness really turns me on.
DBZ: Piccolo: Group Hug!
DBZ: Goku: Heís clearly stronger than us, so letís run away.
DBZ: Vegeta: Youíre my best friend, Kabarot.
DBZ: Vegeta: Canít we all just get along?
DBZ: Vegeta: I have a deep respect for you, Nappa.
DBZ: Vegeta: Please donít hurt me!
DBZ: Vegeta: Kakarot is superior to me.
DBZ: Vegeta: Group hug!
DBZ: Gohan: Iím quitting school and joining a gang.
DBZ: Gohan: Shut up Mom!
DBZ: Gohan: Glue makes me dizzy! Weeeee!
DBZ: Gohan: Go to hell, Icarus.
DBZ: Chichi: If you need help with your homework, Gohan, ask your father.
DBZ: Piccolo: Youíre my little buddy, Gohan.
DBZ: Piccolo: Kami, I feel attracted to you.
DBZ: Master Roshi: Strippers disgust me.
DBZ: Master Roshi: Watching Goku train turns me on.
DBZ: Master Roshi: Eww girls! Get Ďem away!
DBZ: Master Roshi: What is porn?
DBZ: Puar: Shove it, Yamcha.
Gundam: Heero Yuy: I donít feel like fighting today.
Pokemon: Brock: Iím a real player!
Pokemon: Brock: Ask, I really, really need to tell you something. Although it might seem that I like girls. Iím really gay.
Pokemon: Brock: You know, I once tried to kill the worldís greatest lover. But then I learned that suicide was illegal.
DBZ: Vegeta: Live long and prosper.
DBZ: Vegetto: Well I use to be a fighter but Iíve retired to become a cocktail waiter.
DBZ: Shenron: This wishing stuff is tiring me out. I need a vacation.
DBZ: Cell: I was going to kill you all and rule the world but planting flowers is a lot more fun.
DBZ: Garlic Jr.: Maybe wishing for immortality was a bad thing.
DBZ: Taurus: ::still waiting to be wished back::
DBZ: Tien: The best present I have ever gotten was a comb.
DBZ: Goku: Golly! That sounds swell!
DBZ: Goku and Vegeta: Weíre on strike save your own planet!
DBZ: Vegeta: Fighting even by moonlight. Winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailormoon!
DBZ: Goku: I lostÖa food eating contestÖ
DBZ: Nappa: Vegetaís so cute! I just wanna style his hair!
DBZ: Goku: E=MC square
DBZ: Taurus (to Goku): What do you think we would look like if we fused?
DBZ: Goku: Face your fears!
Vegeta: ::looks down at bug crawling across his foot::
DBZ: Gogeta: I think that Vegetto is gay! He wears earrings! Eww!!
DBZ: Goku: Second? Heavens no! Gohan, you can have it!
DBZ: Frieza: You really think so, Zarbon? Yeah, these earrings do bring out my eyes.
DBZ: Cell: Iíve always wondered, why didnít Dr. Gero make me a female to be with?
DBZ: Vegetto: All these choices. Chichi or Bulma, maybe if Iím lucky theyíll have another set of earrings so I can get me some Bul-Chi!!
Inuyasha: Inuyasha: Will anyone give my ears a tweak?
Inuyasha: Inuyasha: Letís forget out differences.
Inuyasha: Inuyasha: Canít we just talk about this? If we can avoid violenceÖ
Inuyasha: Miroku: I promise to never cheat on you, Sango.
Inuyasha: Sesshomaru: I, Sesshomaru, appreciate that you stay with me, Jaken.
Inuyasha: Inuyasha: Hi? How you doin?
Inuyasha: Inuyasha: Whatís up, Naraku? Wanna go slaughter some worthless humans together?
Inuyasha: Sesshoumaru: InuyashaÖ I apologize for mistreating you all these years. Itís just my way of saying I love you, you see?
Inuyasha: Inuyasha: I love it when you say sit.
Angel Sanctuary: Mudou Setsuna: I will follow the laws of god.
Angel Sanctuary: Mudou Setsuna: I will not wage war against god.
Angel Sanctuary: Alexiel: Angels work for god, not against god.
Angel Sanctuary: Yue Katou: I will not take unknown substances from strangers.
Escaflowne: Van: I am not an angel, to pretend so is blasphemy.
Escaflowne: Van: I am a demon and a freak.
Escaflowne: Van: I so not see dead people.
Escaflowne: Merie: I will not be possessive of others.
Escaflowne: Migel: I will not turn my back to the shadows in enemy territory.
Escaflowne: Zongi: I will wear clothes when in public.
DBZ: Goku: 1+1=2
DBZ: Goku: What planet should I destroy next?
DBZ: Vegeta: I have done it! I have defeated Kakarot! I will always triumph inÖPac Man!
DBZ: Trunks (to Vegeta): I never told you dad but you look good in spandex.
YYH: Hiei: Kurama I love you.
YYH: Hiei: I donít want to fight anymore.
YYH: Hiei: Black is so slimming.
YYH: Hiei: Iím not short just vertically challenged.
YYH: Hiei: Wow this sword is heavy.
YYH: Hiei: Black DraÖnow how does that go again?
YYH: Hiei: Kurama can wrap me up in his rose whip any time.
YYH: Kuwabara: Canít we all just get along?
YYH: Yusuke: Spirit Gun! Hey it sparkles!
YYH: Hiei: Donít make me come over there and kiss you to death!
YYH: Koenma: Dad is such a loser Iím out of here.
YYH: King Yama: You win hell spawns.
YYH: Kayko: Yusuke, you can stay up on this roof all you want.
YYH: Kayko: Laying out of class again, Yusuke? Well good for you, mind if I join you?
YYH: Kayko: What no protection?
YYH: Genkai: Iím old and useless forget about me.
YYH: Genkai: Will someone destroy my temple.
YYH: Botan: Lookie I got a flying broom watch me zoom!
YYH: Botan: Hey my hair isnít blue itís just a reflection.
YYH: Kurama: Hiei, I love you.
YYH: Hiei: Screw this good stuff Yusuke I have something for ya! ::draws sword::
YYH: Kurama: Screw this good stuff, Yusuke I have something for ya! ::pulls twig from ear::
YYH: Kurama: Which form do you think is sexier?
YYH: Kurama: Hiei thatís notÖnormalÖ
YYH: Hiei: What third eye?
YYH: Hiei: Do you think this comes on my size? ::holds up pink shirt::
Hellsing: Alucard: Incognito you are far superior than I, you win I give up.
YYH: Yusuke: I need to study so I can get good grades for college.
YYH: Hiei: Come down here so I can punch your face in!
YYH: Hiei: Sword? ::holds up sword:: What am I suppose to do with this thing?
YYH: Hiei: Group Hug!
Hellsing: Alucard: Ceres Victoria make me proud.
Hellsing: Alucard: Eww blood.
Hellsing: Alucard: I hate guns.
Hellsing: Alucard (reading from manual): Slot a goes into Slot B! Damnit! Iím never going to get this car model worked.
Hellsing: Ceres: You never said they would change colors! Now I have to buy a whole new wardrobe.
Hellsing: Alucard: I donít want to be a vampyre anymore.
Hellsing: Ceres: MustÖkill!!
Hellsing: Integral: Whatís a vampyre?
Hellsing: Integral: I desire nothing more than to join up with the vampyre nation.
Hellsing: Integral (looking over college brochure): Oh look Walter they offer a sewing class. Iíve always wanted to learn how to do needle point.
Hellsing: Integral: Death? I could never harm anything.
Hellsing: Integral: Aww look at the cute bunnies ^_^
Hellsing: Intergal: Gun? You mean that long thing? No thanks.
Hellsing: Integral: Gun? What you mean that long thing that Walter uses? Oh that other long thing, sorry Iím new at this.
Hellsing: Walter: Iíll stand behind you Integral while the vampyres attack.
Hellsing: Walter: Get Integral first sheís such a bitch.
Hellsing: Walter: Iíll hold Integral while you punch.
Hellsing: Walter: Drink her blood first she tastes better.
Hellsing: Alucard: Help you Integral? I just wanted to suck your blood and been here every since because Iím immortal I have all the time in the world to wait.
Hellsing: Alucard: I donít want to kill any more.
Hellsing: Walter: You mean these strings are here for a purpose? Weapons? Fascinating.
Hellsing: Luke: Iím nothing but a freak. Alucard is my hero.
Hellsing: Luke: Alucard is far superior than I, and I love him for it.
Hellsing: Alucard: I love you master.
Hellsing: Yan: Eww ghouls! ::squeals:: Get it away!!
Hellsing: Yan: Iím going to take out my piercings and head off to college to get my degree in doctoring.
Hellsing: Yan: Iím going to take out my piercings and join up with church and be a choir boy.
Hellsing: Yan: You mean it shoots bullets?
Hellsing: Alucard: Is that what itís for? I thought it was used for something else?
Hellsing: Integralís father: Forget about those foolish mythical creatures called vampyres and be a stripper instead.
Hellsing: Incognito: Does purple bring out my eye?
Hellsing: Incognito: Clothes? Iíd rather be naked and free gotta relive those hippy years I was deprived.
Hellsing: Incognito: Be naked be free.
Hellsing: Incognito: Alucard you rock my world.
Hellsing: Anderson: I am not going to harm you ever again Alucard.
Hellsing: Maxwell: I love you Integral.
Hellsing: Ferguson: I am going to retire, Iím over this slaying of innocent lives.
Hellsing: Ferguson: I give up.
Cowboy Bebop: Spike: Wow Vicious that was so cool. Wanna be friends?
CB: Julia: I always loved Vicious more than you Spike.
CB: Spike: I always loved Vicious more than you Julia.
CB: Spike: I have secretly been in love with Vicious since our first meeting Julia and youíve merely been in the way.
CB: Spike: Iím glad Juliaís dead she was beginning to be a real pain.
CB: Julia: Spike who?
CB: Vicious: Iím going to give up my evil ways and become a Priest.
CB: Vicious: I surrender to you Spike because you are so much superior than I.
Spike: No no you are more superior than I.
Vicious: Wanna get dinner and get to know one another?
Spike: Sure! Iím buying!
CB: Vicious: Okay since you are the elders Iíll obey you.
CB: Ed: I love everyone.
CB: Ed: Ed hates Ein.
DBZ: Trunks: Damn these stupid wedges I get in these suits when I fight, everyoneís watching me thought I just canítÖ
DBZ: Trunks (flipping through yaoi magazine): OhÖyeah baby!
DBZ: Trunks (to Vegeta): What are your sex secrets?
DBZ: Trunks (To Bulma): Mom I came out of the closet.
DBZ: Vegeta: At least he loves something.
DBZ: Vegeta: Guys? Why did it have to be guys?
Trunks: But dad Iím happy.
Vegeta: Well thatís all I can hope for.
DBZ: Trunks (to Vegeta): Your pride is stupid dad. Get a life.
DBZ: Krillin: Shave not to shaveÖthat is the questionÖ
DBZ: Goku (jumping on Nimbus and falls throw): What the hell? Maybe I shouldnít suppress memories of Bulma like that.
DBZ: Trunks: People tell me my long hair style died with the 60s.
CB: Ed: Edward stupid.
CB: Ed: Ed hates people and wants to be left alone.
CB: Faye: Oh Edward I love you so much.
CB: Faye: Oh Edward I love you so much, wanna get it on?
CB: Faye: I am never going to gamble again.
CB: Faye: ::pays owed depth::
CB: Faye: I want to have your baby, Jet.
CB: Faye: I want to have your baby, Spike.
CB: Jet: Spike, after all these years weíve been together here on the Bebop there is something I want to tell you. Iím gay and I love and want you!!
Spike: Same here Jet but donít let Faye knowÖ
Faye: Know what?
Ed: They gay
Faye: So am I. Wanna have a group orgy?
Ed: What orgy?
Spike: Come into the living room and weíll show you.
Ed: Kay, Ein too?
Jet: Sure why not!
CB: Jet: Come give me some sugar.
CB: Jet: I want to be your sugar daddy, Faye.
CB: Spike: I so hate guns and fighting, I really wanted to be a dancer when I was younger.
CB: Spike: You mean pink isnít my signature color?
Nightwalker: Cain: Shido I have always hated you, I merely toy with you because Iím bored.
Nightwalker: Cain: Shido I hate you.
Nightwalker: Shido: Yes, Cain, I will return to you.
Nightwalker: Shido (to Cain): Yes, letís be friends again.
Nightwalker: Riho: I hate you Mr. Shido.
Nightwalker: Shido: Blood? Eww
Nightwalker: Yayoi: Shido, youíre going to have to find someone else to supply you Iím out of here.
Nightwalker: Guni: Shido you sicken me, laterÖ
Nightwalker: Guni: Shido, I really joined up with you because I love you and I love being behind your ear and thinking nice thoughts of us.
Nightwalker: Guni: Must stop fantasies of ShidoÖ
Nightwalker: Riho: I love you Yayoi.
Nightwalker: Riho: I have never loved or even liked you I merely hanged with you because of my true love for Yayoi and my fantasies of Guni.
Outlaw Star: Gene: Gun? Powers? Who am I? Where am I? Huh?
Outlaw Star: Jim: I hate my car take it away.
Outlaw Star: Jim: ::places a for sale sign on his car::
Outlaw Star: Melfina: I want to be independent of everyone!
Outlaw Star: Aisha: I am so cute arenít I ^_^
Outlaw Star: Twilight: Since someone is better than me Iím going to retire and pick up sewing as my new hobby. It has always interested me so.
Outlaw Star: Twilight: Fighting is for losers.
Outlaw Star: Twilight: Do you think this gi matches my eyes?
Outlaw Star: Twilight: Hmm does this outfit make me look fat?
Outlaw Star: Twilight: Should I trade my sword in for a neato gun like yours Gene?
Trigun: Vash: Knives I want to give up fighting against you and with you. Do you got a problem with it?
Trigun: Wolfwood: I donít want to kill any more. I want to return back to my roots.
Trigun: Wolfwood: Milly I hate you.
Trigun: Knives: I kill no more.
Trigun: Knives: Vash I want to become your partner and work for the good of all man kind.
Trigun: Vash: Stupid humans they can figure out to save themselves.
Trigun: Milly: I donít love you Wolfwood.
Trigun: Milly: Stupid is as stupid does.